Hmmm...

I feel it is time for me to update my blog. But, I don't really know what I'm going to say. Isn't that just great. Maybe if I just start writing it will flow.

Second semester is much harder than first semester, but I feel like I still have too much time on my hands, or at least I'm not using that time the best way. My classes are hard but I'm learning so much, so I guess I'm okay with the difficulty. I think God has challenged me in my classes to know what I believe and how to defend it.

A few weeks ago in my humanities class we were discussing Luther and Calvin and their impacts on the Reformation. Anyway, we got into a discussion on predestination and I felt like I should really figure out what I believe. But the more I tried to figure it out the more confused I became. That is deep and hard stuff that I'm not sure a theologian will ever understand let alone a little uninformed me. I think maybe that their are some things that God wants us to question, but he has them hidden from us for now so that one day in all his glory we will finally be able to understand it and be so awed by it. Another hard one of course is the trinity. One time I thought I understood it, but then my thought was quashed by my small human mind. We are here where we can only know so much, but we want to know everything. God has hidden certain things so that we will worship him more fully both now and when we die. This was definitely the challenge for the week, just trying to wrap my mind around what it is that God says in his word and what it is that he hides. God is so amazing and he continues to be so just because I don't know everything.

The fact that God does not reveal everything for us also shows me that he wants to keep me humble. I know that when I know something that other people don’t I rub it in. Maybe not outright rubbing but subtly I brag about how I know something they don’t. Or I bring it up in conversation so I can talk about it. If I knew everything it would make me like God. I do not want to be like God. I want God to be like God. He needs to be in control of everything. I hate it when I act like God. I hate it when I put me ahead of Him. Yet I always do it. Why? I’m a sinner. Oh man, if I knew everything or even more than I know now I think this world would be very messed up.

God works through discussion. Whether it is in class or with a friend he can make a conversation be fruitful to the soul. When we are challenged we are left to lean on God alone because he can bring us out and teach us whatever it is we need to learn. Most of the learning I have done this semester is not only applicable to my life as a student but it is applicable to my life as a believer being pushed around by the world.

Recently I was thinking about the weird ways God works. Even when we don't know it he is working in our hearts and while that may be weird it is sweet because when we don't care for him he still cares for us. I just think that is so sweet. I mean, while we were still sinners he died for us. And while we are continually ignoring him he pulls us back. There is nothing better than that.

I have also recently been thinking about marriage. I regularly listen to sermons by Mark Driscoll and almost all the time they are edifying to my soul. They teach me how to have Christ me the center. They teach me about the redemption that comes through Christ. And recently they have taught me about marriage. Marriage is about looking like the church and Christ. Christ has redeemed the church. Christ leads the church. Christ was obedient to his Father. The church follows Christ. The church is obedient to Christ. The church boasts in Christ. Christ boasts in his church. Someday, Lord-willing, I will have someone to lead me and someone to brag about, someone who has redeemed me. Someday, Lord-willing, someone will lead me and brag about me and know they have redeemed me. I can’t wait for that day.

Right now God is teaching me a lot. It has been good to really reflect on it.

Learning much in God’s grace,
Greta