Woo[t] and other thoughts

I want to write a blog post today. I woke up early this morning to finish my schoolwork so that I could blog during this time. I feel like I haven't written in a very long time. The problem is I don't know what to write about. So many confusing things have happened to me that I feel like I'm overflowing with stuff to say, but I don't know what to say about them.

This morning I read an e-mail with this verse:
2 Thessalonians 2:16-17 says, "May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word."

It was written just like that. With all the stuff bolded and underlined. I wonder why God had this person write like that. I think it was because this is something He wanted to catch my eye and want to write about.

Loved- it's underlined probably because this person feels loved by God first, while I was still a sinner, while I would rather ignore all that He has done.

Eternal encouragement- is underlined probably because the person who sent this is my R.I.O.T. leader (Bethel Bible study, I don't know what it stands for), and she wanted to feel God's encouragement this week in our busy schedules.

Encourage- is bolded probably because God wants my heart to be encouraged- more to come on this

Strengthen- is bolded probably because God wants to strengthen me- again more to come on this

I think this person missed one major thing, "by his grace" God did this not because we deserved it but because it was by his grace.

Woo- Winning Others Over- I took a strengths finder test this week for a class and this was my biggest strength. It means I am not afraid to talk to strangers and try to make a connection with them so that they will feel loved. Sometimes I'm sure it is perceived as me wanting more friends. It probably is that way sometimes. I really like to feel loved and when I'm not looking for it from Christ I'm looking for it in people. I'm looking to be filled, energized, appreciated by people. I really agree that this is my biggest strength. I feel like if this wasn't a strength I wouldn't know people that I know. The only problem is that it is a weakness. It is a pride weakness that the Lord has permitted me to recognize. It is a not depending only on the Lord weakness that the Lord has permitted me to recognize. It is a weakness that I need to work on by his grace. At the same time it is strength that I love having and need to start using to the glory of God.

At the beginning I said that confusing things have happened to me. That isn't true. God things have happened to me. He has shown me my sin and my need for prayer.
-I've been giving a lot lately in my friendships at school and at WyldLife. I feel like the cup that should be overflowing is starting to run dry because of the energy I'm putting into relationships.
-I'm trying to fill my own cup. I'm trying by the Bible I'm reading, the prayer I'm saying, and the people I'm being with to fill my own cup with God stuff. I'm failing. I need to rely on God. He showed me that grace.
-I need to recognize the freedom in God's grace. His Son died on the cross for me so I don't need to do works to earn my righteousness. I needed Him to die and to plan works for me to do in His name and now I need to follow Him and He will lead me.
-I can't give my whole heart, life, actions, words, deeds, misdeeds to Jesus without the grace of God.
-Warning: This may sound very prideful and self-centered. If people should fail at loving me I need to be okay. I shouldn't look for love in people but in God because His love never fails.

These are the things God has been teaching me. Pray that I will work through them and that I will wholly lean on Jesus name. And I will pray the same for you.

Give me grace God. Let me see your grace God.
In Jesus name,
Greta

Why Lord-willing

As often as I can (and I fail to remember most times) I try to qualify future events with saying Lord-willing. During the first couple weeks of school the question was: What is your major? My response would usually be, "Lord-willing it will be youth ministry." Sometimes I would be given strange looks of, "what the heck is that supposed to mean?" other times I would see, "hmm, that is interesting."

I've decided to make an effort to qualify the future with Lord-willing so that others will know that it doesn't matter how hard I try, if the Lord doesn't want me to do something or see someone than it won't happen.

And if you say this to non-believers than they might ask questions. It could be good for witnessing.

Lord-willing, I'll write again,
Greta

Wrestling with Worship

I really like Bethel.

Going into this year I said to myself that I'd keep my mind open to going to a different school next year. I am not doing a very good job. I really want to stay at Bethel because I am loving the life. I'm loving what God is doing in me and what He has provided for me. But I don't want to get so comfortable that I am not open to going somewhere else.

Reasons not to apply other places...
1/ I am already accepted to Bethel
2/ I like it here
3/ It's close to home
4/ I would miss it if I went somewhere else
5/ WyldLife
6/ Campus Outreach
7/ Friends from church
8/ Friends from school

Reasons to apply other places...
1/ It's close to home
2/ New experiences
3/ See if I can go anywhere else

Oh boy, so many decisions for a young person. I think I'm beginning to understand what my senior friends were going through this last spring.

We were singing in chapel recently and something hit me. Then I was listening to a Mark Driscoll sermon and it hit me again. We were singing about surrendering all I have to Jesus Christ. I kept thinking about that and wondered what it would look like in regards to school. Then I listened to Mark Driscoll talk about how worship isn't just singing, it's giving all thoughts, actions, and things over to Christ. He said that when people have problems they aren't drinking, swearing, eating, sex, etc. problems they are worship problems. We are putting something ahead of Jesus Christ and worshiping that thing rather than Christ. I'm praying that I can surrender myself over to Christ in a new way so that I'm not worshiping Bethel.

Do I wanna stay at Bethel because I've made it my God and it's what I want?

Yes, I think so. I need to surrender my desires and needs to God to see where He will have me.

Surrendering all,
Greta

King of Kings

Today in chapel President Jay Barnes spoke about Christ followers. One of the core values of Bethel is that it is full of Christ followers. After he spoke he showed a video of a sermon by Reverand S.M. Lockridge. He proclaims all of these truths about Jesus being king and than he asks, "That's my King. I wonder do you know Him?"

That's a question that I want to ask myself sometimes. Do I know Him or do I just know Him. Do I know Him with my heart or is it just in my head. There are times when I feel the spirit moving and I know Him, but there are times when my spirtual life is stagnant and I feel like I don't know Him. The truth isn't that I don't know Him at those times it's that I judge my knowing Him by my feelings. I know I've talked about this before, but here I go again. It is obviously a struggle if I do it more than once.

I have a schedule now. I wake up and I read my Bible and ten keep going on in my day. Each day I wake up and I pray that the Lord will give me eyes to see Christ in the Old Testement and that I will glean something from it. In other words I pray that I will know Him. Often times I don't know Him.

Give me Jesus. Let me know the King.

Yearning for Him,
Greta

Smorgasbord

Smor-gas-bord n. a meal served buffet style, consisting of a large variety of hot or cold dishes; a restaurant featuring a smorgasbord; a wide variety.

This is a variety of random thoughts based on a wonderful weekend.

I love camp. I just had an awesome weekend. I don’t mean awesome the way the world thinks of it. I mean awesome as in I saw God in awesome ways. I was at a leadership training retreat for YoungLife volunteers. It was great. We had times of worship, teaching and fellowshipping.

The worship was great because it was just a guitar and our voices. We filled the room with our voices in worship to the Lord. I felt drawn to Lord in worship.

Our speaker was a man named Bill Paige. He has a really cool life story and he shared of the work that the Lord has done in his life. He applied it to going out and doing YoungLife and WyldLife in schools.

For those who don’t know YoungLife is a mission to win the right to be heard by students by going to where they are. In winning that right we are able to share the gospel and help nurture new faith.

Bill talked about how broken kids, poor kids, white kids, black kids, rich kids, smart kids, stupid kids and all kids need to hear the gospel and when we share that we give them new hope and the opportunity to have new life. He said that if he had been shared the gospel as a kid his life would be different.

He challenged us and said that we can’t talk about Jesus without cultivating a relationship with Him. One of the talks that really hit me was on forgiveness. God used Bill to convict me of the need to forgive some people and the need to be forgiven by others. He said that forgiving and being forgiven are keys to being spiritually healthy. God used that talk to show me that I’m holding onto some anger. He used it to help me start praying that I can forgive so that I can draw closer to Him.

We had great times as a team. We sat and got ready to go to the schools this fall and it was really encouraging to set goals for the school year.

Tonight I went to Vespers. It is a worship service at Bethel. I went twice. The worship was awesome. God was glorified and used it again to show me how prideful I am. I can’t wait for the day when I will be able to worship God without sin. I can’t even make it through a whole service without sinning against God.

One of the songs at Vespers said something about giving it all to God and humbly bowing before Him. I started thinking about that. I need to pray so often that I will give my all to God. Not only that but when I do that I need to do it without being proud. And I need to show that it was not me that did it but Him. Something to be praying about.

I want to encourage you to seek out what God is doing in your heart. Is He convicting you of sin? Does He want you to give Him your all? Do you need to forgive someone?

These are all questions that I’m wrestling.

Psalm 46:10
Be still and know that I am God
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth!

Be still, listen, ask questions, listen, be still and do it all again.

Praying for stillness,
Greta

Homework

I feel like I'm doing pretty good at college. I've done a pretty good job at keeping ahead of my homework schedule. I just finished up doing some Economics homework and I already feel like I've learned a lot. But that is not the purpose of this post. The purpose of this post is to say...

The Lord has taught me a lot of new things this week. I've been asking people to pray that I will get in the swing of things and read my Bible regularly. I normally read at night but because I know I get home late I've decided to change it up. The Lord has worked on me and been getting me up early enough to read the Word and pray before I leave for school each day. It is probably one of the hardest things ever because I'm so tired when I open up my Bible. But, it has been so fruitful. The last couple of weeks I've been in 2 Samuel. I've seen King David be a total jerk and sin against God so many times. Yet, God calls Him a man after His own heart. In that I see grace and mercy. In that I see that I'm a the biggest jerk and sinner against God all the time, yet He forgives me and calls me His own. It is such an awesome thing that He would do that. I didn't do anything to deserve it and in fact I deserve death. So, He gives me this grace now for my sin.

He gives me His grace each morning as I open the Word.
He gives me His grace each day as I do schoolwork.

Hebrews 3:12-13
Take care brothers, lest their be in any of you an evil unbelieving heart, leading you to fall away from the living God. Exort one another everyday as long as it is called "today" that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.

He gives me grace in those that exort me everyday.

Here I go to do Sign Language homework in His grace,
Greta

Today's the Day

Classes start today. I only had one and it was canceled because of a special chapel. I went to school and hung out and went to chapel. It was a good day. I praise God because he has given me much grace. I was so nervous that I wouldn't make friends and that I'd be lonely. But God had a different plan. I have a core group of friends now and that is awesome. I now have friends that I can call or text to say, "let's hang out." That is really nice because now I won't be scared to just be sitting around campus.

I just had a thought pop in my mind...

My two favorite words in the Bible are "but God." No matter what follows after that phrase it is awesome. But God saved us. But God gives us grace. That's great.

Anyway...

So far school is good. I had an assignment due this morning even though I haven't gone to a class, that's cool I guess because that is college-y. I'm feeling really encouraged because I know many people are praying for me and that is why it is going so well. I love prayer and so whenever I look in my phone for someone to call/text I start to pray for them, and then let them know because it is so encouraging to know that someone is praying for you. It's like saying that you aren't good enough to encourage them but since God is involved it's infinitely better and infinitely more encouraging and it feels so good.

This is an encouragement to pray because God answers prayers in every way.

Praying with you for more grace,
Greta