Lets talk about how much stuff I fail at and how great it is that God gives me mercy.
Me:
Number 1/
I fail to recognize the weight of the Gospel.
Number 2/
I fail to run to the love that never fails.
Number 3/
I fail to live my life for Christ who gave his life so that I could live mine.
Number 4/
I fail to make decisions.
Number 5/
I fail to read my Bible everyday.
Number 6/
I fail to love and serve people the way Christ loves and serves them.
Number 7/
I fail to let Christ be the only God in my life
Number 8/
I fail to confess my sin.
Number 9/
I fail to enjoy what God has given me.
Number 10/
I fail to believe so hard that I'm willing to die for my beliefs.
God:
Number 1/
God gives me mercy to see the weight of the Gospel right when it is necessary.
Number 2/
God still shows me his never failing love, especially when mine fails.
Number 3/
Christ died that I might live.
Number 4/
God will give me mercy in the decisions I make so that they will glorify his name and bring me joy.
Number 5/
God reminds me of his Word even when I'm not in it.
Number 6/
Christ loves me perfectly and wants me to come to him (like the woman at the well) even with all my dirtiness. And he gives me people who still love me when I fail.
Number 7/
God mercifully shows me when I have things ahead of him.
Number 8/
God shows me my sin so powerfully that I can't help but confess.
Number 9/
God shows me all the good he has given me and makes me fall on my knees in thanks.
Number 10/
God will give me mercy to be willing to live for and die for Christ.
I cried a lot yesterday. I was mad that I sin. I was mad that God is so merciful. I was mad that I consistently walk away and he draws me back. True, this is weird anger, but even though I was mad at God he still loved me. It's amazing that I can walk away from that. It is disgusting that I can walk away from that. I need God to change my heart. I need God to change my life to better reflect his. I need to see his mercy. I need to grow. God, please help.
Resting in God's mercy cause my failure is terrible,
Greta
Monday, February 9, 2009
Monday, February 2, 2009
Second Semester, Second Try
Second semester has begun. Interim was easy and a good way of sort of easing back into school, but now it is over and its time to get back to the grind. I am excited to have some new and challenging classes, but I think the work will be hard. Although I am very excited to have classes that will challenge my viewpoints and my faith. I want to grow this semester in a different way because of the challenges I face.
Last night I read my Bible before I shut my eyes to sleep. Honestly, it was the first time in a long time that I opened up the book and really read it. I bowed my head beforehand and asked the Lord to please change my heart. I asked him to give me a passion for his word so that I can grow and learn and not feel dry anymore. It was hard to hear myself say that I was weak, but I know that as I acknowledged that my heart began to wholly lean on the name of Jesus. It was awesome. I asked the Lord to help me set aside time each day to spend with Him. Time that I will love and learn from him. I asked him to get me in a habit of spending time with him, but to not let it be a duty that I just check off each day, but a heartfelt desire to spend time in the Bible. I want to study and learn from my books in school and I wanna study and learn from the book that brings me life.
I think that the Lord will use this semester to help me grow as a person. I think I will grow spiritually and I think I will become a more well-rounded person through the classes I have and the way they challenge me. I'm taking a philosophy course that will challenge my views and my beliefs. I'm taking humanities which broadens my knowledge of the world and of the Lord. I'm taking a weight training course that will help me become a physically healthier person. And a Ceramics class, which will be interesting cause I am not good with my hands. And a biology course where I will get to see the work of God at a scientific level. I'm very excited to see how God works.
Although I am excited about the academics that are ahead of me I am not excited to make decisions and figure out what to do about some challenges I am facing. But, I trust that God will lead me to make smart decisions that glorify his name.
Anyway, this is just what I think the Lord is doing and will be doing in me this semester.
Hoping for a work in me,
Greta
Last night I read my Bible before I shut my eyes to sleep. Honestly, it was the first time in a long time that I opened up the book and really read it. I bowed my head beforehand and asked the Lord to please change my heart. I asked him to give me a passion for his word so that I can grow and learn and not feel dry anymore. It was hard to hear myself say that I was weak, but I know that as I acknowledged that my heart began to wholly lean on the name of Jesus. It was awesome. I asked the Lord to help me set aside time each day to spend with Him. Time that I will love and learn from him. I asked him to get me in a habit of spending time with him, but to not let it be a duty that I just check off each day, but a heartfelt desire to spend time in the Bible. I want to study and learn from my books in school and I wanna study and learn from the book that brings me life.
I think that the Lord will use this semester to help me grow as a person. I think I will grow spiritually and I think I will become a more well-rounded person through the classes I have and the way they challenge me. I'm taking a philosophy course that will challenge my views and my beliefs. I'm taking humanities which broadens my knowledge of the world and of the Lord. I'm taking a weight training course that will help me become a physically healthier person. And a Ceramics class, which will be interesting cause I am not good with my hands. And a biology course where I will get to see the work of God at a scientific level. I'm very excited to see how God works.
Although I am excited about the academics that are ahead of me I am not excited to make decisions and figure out what to do about some challenges I am facing. But, I trust that God will lead me to make smart decisions that glorify his name.
Anyway, this is just what I think the Lord is doing and will be doing in me this semester.
Hoping for a work in me,
Greta
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